It was two years ago that I came to this city, full of dreams in heart. As the capital of China, Beijing is the center of Chinese politics and culture. At the heart of the city, Tian'anmen Square symbolizes the center of China in the hearts of the Chinese people. Beijing is home to numerous historical heritage sites, such as the Great Wall and the Imperial Palace which attracts tens of thousands of tourists every year.
Beijing is an ancient and yet modern city. Old and new mingle in this ever-changing metropolis. There are modern buildings and flourishing economy, which people gravitate towards. There are people with power and money as well as common people. There are expressways and flyovers as well as huge traffic jams. There are high-rises and large mansions as well as compounds crammed by many households. There are white-collar workers as well as those who toil. This is the city where I make a living, a city full of contrasts, things which are old and new, under construction, about to be demolished. In Beijing, all things come together, be it royal, or temporal, gallant or filthy, dream-like or realistic, festive or depressing.
I am exactly in this city but 'SHE' seems to be far away from me. Things seem there but are hard to get hold of. My emotion about HER becomes hazier and hazier. SHE is my desire, my dream and my faraway bride.
How do I describe this city? I attempt to draw a clear picture, but it turns to be a piece of doodle.
During the past two years, in this city, I sometimes have the illusion to be in a place between reality and dream.
I cannot express the feeling with words I can only attempt to describe it with the images deep in my heart.
I love this city but I also live in it with panic.
However, I would still pursue my dream, with love, pain, hope, despair and, above all, with my dear bride?
两年前,我带着梦想来到这座城市。这里是中国的首都,是政治文化中心,天安门——国家的象征,中国人朝拜的圣地;这里有丰厚悠久的历史文化古迹,故宫,长城——旅游者的渴望;这里有繁荣的经济,现代化建筑——人们的向往;这里居住着中国最有权贵的人,也栖息着中国最普通的老百姓;这里有四通八达的立交桥,同时也有交通拥挤;这里有高尚楼群,却也有大杂院;这里有潇洒的白领,也有过命的打工者;老的,新的,正在建设中的,即将拆除掉的,皇权的,世俗的,华贵的,脏乱的,梦想,现实,欢乐,沮丧…….统统拥挤在这座我即将漂着的城市中。
我身处在这座城市中,却又离“她”如此之远;身旁之物触手可及,却又抓它不到。对“她”的印象越来越模糊,诚如我的欲望,我的梦想,以及我那模糊不清的新娘。
这是一座什么样的城市呀,我试图绘出一幅清晰的图卷,到后来却成了一片涂鸦。
两年来,在这座城市中,我时常有种置身在现实与超现实之间的错觉。